Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
