id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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