I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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