She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
