dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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