you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize