Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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