Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
