I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
