The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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