Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
