I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I will die if light touches me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
