I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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