Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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