plz talk dirty to me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
