I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
