Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
