sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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