As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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