smell my finger.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
