We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
