I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
