Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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