I cockslap morals
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
