hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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