is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
