Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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