I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i need some magic done to my vagina
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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