What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
