Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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