Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
