You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
