You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
