K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
