That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
