He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
