I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
