so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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