The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
