i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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