so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
