Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
