Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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