Jerry, you need to find god
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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