Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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