i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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