just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
