She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
