I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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