girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
