i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
