I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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