i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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