you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
