i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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