So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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