I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
