mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
