So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
