I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
