Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I deserve this hangover.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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