Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
