Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
