people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
