Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
