I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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