i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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